Tuesday, January 16, 2018

New Year, New Us? Ugh.

New year new me, right?

First things first – apologies for the massive game of hide n seek I’ve been playing. There have been so many wonderful changes in our lives over the past 6 months, but that also means I’ve had to go into full on concentration mode making sure things were as seamless as possible for our little one. But, more details on a later blog entry (and there will be one, I promise)! For now, you'll have to survive off of our Christmas card as a sign we're alive, doing well, and very excited for all these new adventures we have to share with y'all. 

Back to the basics – New Years RESOLUTIONS. I capitalized because so many people dive head first into resolutions on the first of the year. The passion, the commitment – it is admirable and I love to see all the new fresh recipes and workout routines inundating my Instagram feed. But, I’ve never been one to jump into the popular movement and so this year, I really focused on intentions for the next few months.

Intentions really force me to think about the changes I’m looking to implement this year, to work on them daily. And, let’s get real – I won’t live them every day, but the intention to do good will always remain. So yea, intentions are the truth I’m preaching in 2018.

Why not a full year? Well, I hope to revisit this summer and see progress on the intentions I’ve set instead of forcing myself to live be these mantras all year. They may not work for me; I may need to do a reset and that’s OK. The point is to stop being so hard on ourselves and embrace the good we need to be the best Mama’s, partners, daughters, friends, sisters that we possibly can be. Life is hard enough without getting down on yourself, especially after the holidays. Do I need to eat better some days? Absolutely! Should I really find more patience with Reagan on the no good awful bad days? You bet! But, I know these changes won’t take place overnight and so I’m setting intentions to begin to reform certain areas in my life so I can find a more peaceful balance.

So, here goes….

1. Self-Love 

I find myself always focusing on others and how I can help serve them. God gifted me with the desire to serve and I’m so grateful for that passion. I’m the giver, the listener, the take the shirt off my back friend and I love it. It was how I was raised and how I’ll always be. But, this year I’ve realized that in order to be the best wife to my husband and the best Mama to our little girl, I need to take some time to focus on me. Whether that’s a daily workout, a coffee break or something more indulgent like getting a blow out every once and a while – it needs to be a priority in order to keep me sane. I found myself frustrated right before Christmas. I had spent so much time wrapping gifts, sending Christmas cards, making the holidays so special for our family that I really forgot about me. I left my typical pre-holiday appointments (read: waxing, nails, toning hair etc.) until the afternoon before we left. Of course, that blew up in my face and didn’t work and it really put a damper on my spirit because here was my one chance to take a breather and it disappeared. So no more leaving me to last because what did I go home and do? Sulk and not want to really be the best Mama to Reagan because I didn’t feel like my best self and that’s not fair to anyone. 

Self-love doesn’t have to be extravagant spa appointments because that’s never been me and I’m not going to start getting a facial every two (2) weeks (but, amazing props to the Mama’s who cater to their skin that way – I need to start investing in mine too – wrinkles ugh). Instead, it’s going to be a little thing here and there. Lunch out once a month, sipping that coffee for an extra few minutes before you wake your little one from their nap, taking a bath once a week for me time, and really catering to my Peloton schedule because WHOA do I feel amazing after a thorough ride. The intention is that by focusing on making me feel beautiful inside and out, I can pass that on to my little one and be the absolute best wife and Mama possible.

2. Mom Crew

Late last year, I went through a very cathartic cleanse of negativity in my life. I felt like I was drowning and I just didn’t want to focus even a second away from my daughter worrying about he said she said nonsense. The texts, the emails, the BLAH. Trust me, I’ve got more than enough on my plate trying to raise our daughter, supporting my husband with his time-consuming job, and being a kickass Mom in Tech without having to worry about negative influences in our lives. I’ve found more than anything, as I get older – I’ve really evolved into this new role in my life…Mom. And, I love it. But, it comes with some changes. We want our daughter to be raised in such an overwhelmingly positive environment and with that, I needed to take a long look at those I surrounded myself with. 

We all change and evolve, and that is such a positive thing. But, as I was headed one way – I realized a few of my friends were headed in another direction I didn’t want to involve myself with that anymore. And, that’s OK and refreshing at this point in my life. I cemented myself into this wonderful environment and with that came wonderful new people I’ve met and enveloped in a big circle hug because I’m never letting go. I’ve learned to really lean on some pretty important Mama’s in my life and best thing of all this? I finally feel free and like I can be myself with this Mom crew. Not everyone is a Mom in my crew, but they’re honorary aunts to our little tot which is even better. There are so many amazing women in my life who have either successfully battled the toddler years (while juggling school FT - I know, sainthood right there) or have recently had little ones - I am so thankful for each and every one of them for all the wisdom they impart on me daily. But, I've also discovered the beauty of social media and the ability it has to bring fellow mom's together. Through Facebook & Twitter, I've cultivated this great unit of Mama's in both the Bay Area and beyond who all are facing the same obstacles. From career-oriented parent groups (Moms in Tech - my constant lifesaver) to Golden Gate Mom's, these support networks allow Mom's the opportunity to vent, rage, and rejoice in all the wonderfulness that is parenthood. You are never judged, never segregated - we're all on this ride together and we won't leave anyone behind.
My intention this year is to continue just being my truest self with this Mom Crew – uplifting my fellow Mama’s and really focusing on supporting each other. This job is the hardest job of all, and it truly takes a village to raise your children these days and boy, we have a pretty awesome village.

Note: I didn't want to inundate you with pictures of our tribe, but they are so loved and go far beyond the lovelies in these pictures. 

3. Accountability

One of the biggest intentions I wanted to set was to be accountable in my daily life. Accountability is defined as being responsible for one’s intentions, decisions, or language utilized. When it comes to work – I’m a one-woman kickass machine. I know my deadlines; I have my guidelines and I just plow through. Nothing gets in my way. But, I find in life, that focus is pretty blurry. I want to be accountable with all aspects of my daily routine, not just with my career. 

My husband is amazing when it comes to budgeting, and while I dab here and there with focusing on it I’m never truly accountable for my part with the budget. Grocery shopping, shoes for Reagan…ya know, the essentials – there are boundaries and I need to be accountable enough to live within them. 

Fitness is another big area I want to be accountable with. Yes, I work out. I would even say I work out more than the average person, but I’m never really accountable to my fitness schedule I try to set each week. The intention isn’t really there and I need to set the schedule and ensure that I’m accountable for sticking to it or rescheduling things to ensure I still get that time to do what I set out to do. It’s not solely about organization because I’ve improved on that since becoming a Mom, it’s just about not focusing on the things that will make me a better well-rounded person, which includes accountability.

What are your resolutions or intentions for the New Year? Share below. I’d love to hear from you!

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